Caretaker of the Year?

We were shocked when we turned on ESPN to find out Mike Brown was named NBA coach of the year. Mike Brown? Say what!?! The same guy who bears a striking resemblance to Mr. Potato Head? We don't think that Mike Brown is a bad coach by any means, but did he really do the best coaching job in the NBA this year?

What does Coach of the Year even mean anymore? Does it go to the coach on the team with the best record, or the coach of the team that shows the greatest improvement? How do you quantify the coaching aspect? The best coach of the year is next to worthless (a ridiculous claim but Guys Who Like Sports don't just make ridiculous claims, we back them up). In every other award, you can statistically determine the impact of the candidates. Mike Brown coached for Cleveland last year. He coached for them this year. Did he improve as a coach between these two seasons? Honestly, he did what he should have done. He let a great player flourish, he shouldn't get any extra credit. He did what he was supposed to.

Coaches are becoming the CEO's of NBA teams. Over the year, 8 coaches have been fired. Coaches take the blame when something goes wrong; and when something goes right, the credit goes to the players, rightfully so. Does Mike Brown really deserve an award for staying out of Lebron's way and only making him run two high screens with Ilgauskas a game. This is a players' league, coaches need to stay out of their star's way.

So what we are proposing is an award to bring to light the coach that did the worst job of caretaking and tried to over-coach. Terry Porter, we choose you. Thanks for ruining the Suns. Mike Dunleavy made a strong case for our award but who cares about the Clippers anyway. Our apologies to Malcolm in the Middle. To be in the running coaches need to have lasted more than 30 games, sorry Reggie Theus, even though you could have been up for this award in “Hang Time.”