Guess Who Wants in the NFL?

On the heels of Michael Vick deciding he wants to come back to the NFL, another current convict has declared his intentions as well. This time it’s former Ohio State running back Maurice Clarett who wants in the league. (Considering he never played a down in the NFL, I guess we can’t call it a comeback.) Clarett expressed his thoughts recently on his blog “The Mind of Maurice.” (The fact that he has a blog is pretty intriguing in itself.) This brings up a few questions. How many people knew he had a blog? How do you blog in prison? Can this please be a reality TV show? He's shown before that all he needs is a little Goose to get loose, so why not let him get loose and blog in prison. In one of his recent entries, Clarett said:

“I can’t hold these feelings in anymore. I want to play football again. I have a deep desire to play. I love the game. I have so much penitentiary aggression pinned up inside of me. I want to hit someone. I want to run the ball. I want to tackle someone. I want to play. I am going to play somewhere. I cannot accept how things ended. I won’t accept how they ended.”

First off, if you’re trying to encourage NFL teams to take a chance on you, the phrase “penitentiary aggression” probably isn’t the buzzword prospective NFL General Managers are looking for. “Having penitentiary aggression” makes it sound more like you want to shank someone than run over a linebacker on the football field. Free advice Mo: You want people to think of you as a reformed individual, not a character from “Oz.”

But back to the issue at hand: Can Maurice Clarett play in the National Football League? (saying it like Jaws for emphasis) He’ll most likely be released in over a year, so he could be ready by the 2010 season. The question is, would anyone want him now as an ex-convict, when no one really wanted him in the first place? Right now, he’s 25 years old and hasn’t played a full season since his freshman year at Ohio State in 2002. While he was a standout player on that Buckeye Championship team, he really hasn’t done anything else to prove he should be in the NFL. Compound that with the fact you could be looking at almost a decade worth of rust. At best, Clarett would be a major project for a team. But hey, even Greg Paulus got a tryout with the Green Bay Packers, which proves NFL teams are willing to take chances to scour talent from the most unlikely places in order to gain a competitive edge.

One of the big issues with Clarett is the last impression he left on the NFL. After his freshman year at Ohio State, he had a two year layoff while trying to enter the NFL draft. Despite sitting out for two years, the Denver Broncos shocked the NFL by drafting the enigmatic star in the third round of the 2005 draft. Clarett proceeded to reward the team by showing up at training camp looking like Fat Albert at a robust 248 pounds. Needless to say, he was let go by the team after an unimpressive preseason.

Despite all of this, Clarett says he can compete in the league. In his blog, he claims to be “rock solid” at 220 pounds and wants to play because he “knows how to play really well.” I’m as skeptical as the next person, but if he honestly reformed himself, then he’s definitely worth a look in someone’s training camp. There’s no arguing he was a beast during his freshman year at Ohio State, and if he can regain the athleticism he displayed there, then who knows? However, that’s a king sized IF, and considering his history, it’s doubtful he’ll be able to put it all together. Regardless, it’ll be interesting to see how this all plays out in 2010. Will any NFL team take a shot at him or will he be headlining a resurgence of the AFL in 2010?

Vick is back...Now what?

With Favre Watch ‘09 at a temporary standstill, the media has decided to focus their attention on another inactive quarterback: former Leavenworth inmate Michael Vick.

Now as a low-wage construction worker, where does he go from here? After a lengthy hiatus, teams will definitely be more hesitant to sign the former superstar turned manual laborer (if he is even reinstated to the NFL at all). A factor that will deter many teams will be the negative publicity that will ensue. Vick is without a doubt public enemy number one on PETA’s hit list, and they will definitely do what they can to go after him. This likely entails PETA going after the sponsors of Vick's potential team in order to send a message. We’ll have to see if NFL teams gives in to the eco-terrorist’s demands.

NFL teams considering Vick have to ask themselves: What does Vick have to offer at this point in his career? He’ll turn 29 in June and has been out of the league for two seasons, so he’ll clearly have a rust factor going against him. Personally, I think Vick is a situational player at best. During his career Vick has not demonstrated he can be a great pocket passer despite his great athletic abilities. During one of his “Pro Bowl” seasons, Vick threw only 14 touchdowns to 12 interceptions. In addition, he also had 16 fumbles... Are you going to pay a player 100 million dollars to fumble all over your million dollar field: I mean COME ON!

Luckily for Vick, however, Dolphins Head Coach Tony Sparano has provided him with a golden ticket in the shape of the Wildcat formation. (I don’t know if they have TV in prison, so he may need an instructional video.) Miami has shown the package can work well with a running back utilizing it, so it should work even better with an athletic player like Vick who has much better passing skills. Vick's competitive advantage his whole career as a QB was his ability to run. However, his team was always worried about risking their prized 100 million dollar asset out of the pocket. Considering he will now be anything but a prized asset, rather some second hand retread, playing in the Wildcat as a dual threat will give Mike Vick the chance to reignite his career. It's ironic that he was in jail for treating dogs poorly and his career might be ignited once he is treated like one of the pit bulls he used to fight.

So who will have the opportunity to trot out Michael Vick? Miami seemed like an ideal situation, but the Dolphins drafted Pat White, so that’s out of the question. In determining where Vick will go, there are three factors that need to be evaluated. First, the prospective team needs an owner who's willing to take a chance on a wild card like Vick. (Jerry Jones does love headcases and the Cowboys do need someone to back up Mr. Jessica Simpson...It might not make the front page of US Weekly, but it would be a big deal.) Secondly, you need a head coach who can keep troublemakers in line. (Marvin Lewis: Don't bother applying) Lastly, you need to have an innovative offensive coordinator who can best maximize Vick's abilities. (Don't bother Detroit.)

After examining these factors, one intriguing team meets all of the criteria: the New England Patriots. If anyone could reign Vick in, it would clearly be Bill Belichick. He's always looking for an advantage and he would be best suited to unleash Vick's potential. The Pats took Randy Moss when everyone was down on him, and he subsequently turned in one of the best seasons for a wide receiver ever. With Tom Brady coming off ACL injury, Vick would be a decent insurance policy who could take 5-10 snaps a game to take the heat off Brady. It's honestly doubtful the Patriots will take the chance on Vick, but it's definitely an intriguing possibility.

Regardless of where he goes, I think everyone is excited for the first time Vick gets serenaded on the road with everyone's favorite, “Who Let the Dogs Out.”

Go Away Brett!

During the summer, few things in sports remain constant: Al Davis will make stupefying football decisions, there will be way too many baseball highlights on Sportscenter, and we’ll have endless Brett Favre retirement talk.

Unfortunately, this year is no different, as the annual Favre drama is back. The will he or won’t he retirement saga once again comes back into full swing. Congratulations Brett, I thought nothing could ever be as annoying as the Ross/Rachel will they/won’t they drama in the 90’s…I was wrong.

I won’t get into specifics regarding this year’s Favre drama, as it has already been told ad nauseum, and would be hypocritical, considering the whole point of this post is to criticize the non-stop Favre talk.

As story-after-story keeps turning up on the World Wide Leader, I can’t help but ask: What do you want Brett? You’re out there jumping around in your wranglers, and I’m just sitting here with my beer. TELL ME WHAT YOU WANT!

Well, I don’t know what he wants, but apparently fading into oblivion in Hattiesburg, Missisippi isn’t something that interests him. With all of the Vikings talk, Favre clearly has an axe to grind with the Packers. Did Ted Thompson and company give him a raw deal? Maybe. Did Favre, however, put them in countless awkward positions? Yes. Honestly, this all could have been avoided if he had just been up front with the Packers. Instead of mowing around every off-season debating whether he should retire, Brett should have told Green Bay from the start if he planned to come back. By not doing so, he essentially held the franchise hostage, as they didn’t know whether to plan for the future, or attempt a Super Bowl run with an aging Favre. He only has himself to blame in this saga, as he could have ended it himself.

The sad thing here is that I used to enjoy watching Favre play. With his passion and unbridled enthusiasm, he one of the best players in the league to watch. Seeing him throw a 50 yard bomb and then run downfield and throw his receiver over his shoulder was always something great. But as time went on, the media OD’d on Brett Favre. (Particularly a certain video game pushing announcer.) Everything would revolve around Favre, even as his career went downhill. Then as the annual retirement talks kicked in, fans started more and more to despise him.

It’s gotten to the point that if he’s on TV, I’m changing the channel. The only time I want to see him is if I happen to catch There’s Something About Mary on TV. That’s it. And I especially don’t want to see him during those horrible wrangler commercials. Which brings me to my final point: NO ONE PLAYS FOOTBALL IN JEANS!!!)

Just Manny Being Manny... Not This Time

I have always heard and always thought that Manny was too dumb to keep up with a steroid cycle. Apparently, he is also too dumb to NOT take women's fertility drugs that are on the banned substances list. The drug Manny took, human chorionic gonadotropin (HCG), is used to generate normal testosterone for steroid users once they stop. Before we label Manny a steroid user it must be noted that people can be prescribed this for medical reasons. Hitting home runs and misplaying fly balls in right field probably aren't considered medical reasons to take HCG. So taking HCG doesn't necessarily mean that Manny took steroids, even though he probably did. The hilarious thing about Manny is that he didn't get caught using steroids or actually even test positive for anything. Rather he had heightened testosterone so officials began to snoop and found that he had taken HCG.

To many, this suspension is a smoking gun to cheating and steroid use over the course of Manny's career. Everyone, myself included, has become overly skeptical and cynical about steroids, relating any minor statistical abnormality to steroid use. Any player that had a career year or a statistical anomaly had to have been on steroids if they didn't repeat the success. Now that there is a smoking gun, naturally the steroid implication and connection has to be made for Manny too. While most will argue that this cements Manny's legacy as a cheater and everything he has previously done is void, I think this only heightens the legend of Manny being Manny.* Who else in the league cuts off his center fielder... while playing right field, makes routine plays seem anything but, doesn't hustle out ground balls, and presumably takes steroids, gets away with it but later gets exposed as a cheater for taking woman's fertility pills... This is just another case of Manny being Manny.

When I woke up yesterday and saw the story, my first thought wasn't “wow, Manny is getting suspended that ruins his legacy and career,” but rather, “I wonder who gave Manny some stupid GNC pill or how did Manny screw this one up without actually taking steroids.” It's not that I believe Manny's story, it's just that he is probably too stupid to lie about it or to even care enough to lie about it. I haven't the slightest idea what motivates Manny, nobody does. This is a guy that stuffs million dollar paychecks in his locker. I don't even think I remotely understand him. But I do know that he is not motivated like other players. He is a pro hitter, he hits baseballs because that's what he was born to do. So I was shocked to see that he cheated. I just never thought he was smart enough to or cared enough to do it. But hey, maybe that was just the era or steroids and maybe we shouldn't be asking “who did it,” but rather “who didn't.”



*When athletes talk and they say someone is being themselves, for example “that is just Arod being Arod”, it means that the person is an A-hole.